Black Magic
by Stanza
Summary: [CATS fic] Mistoffelees has a secret journal, where he spills his secrets and what happens during the day for a year. (Chapter 4: April up) Please R&R.
1. January

Disclaimer: I do not own the _CATS_ Video or any of its characters. However, I _do_ own this story in its non-profit entirety. Similarities to other works are merely coincidental.

**Black Magic  
A Year In The Life of Mistoffelees, Conjuring Extraordinaire  
Written By Stanza**

1. January

**January 1**  
Usually, Jellicles don't learn how to write or don't utilize the skill at all if they learn it, but I've decided that being a magical cat creates an exception. I, Mistoffelees, have decided against all protocol to keep a very, very secret journal never to be disclosed to a soul, in which I shall record my deepest secrets (this would be why I'll never show it to _anyone_, not even Tumblebrutus and Pouncival). So begins my journal.

**January 4**  
Something interesting happened today, in my opinion. Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, my two closest friends, were playing around, as usual, on the rickety rocking chair located a few yards behind the rusty car, when Tumblebrutus fell off, executed a perfect backflip until his paw caught on some dirty clothesline, and landed in Bombalurina's lap. Poor Bomba huffed, pushed him off, and lead her younger sister Demeter away to gossip somewhere else. Everybody else (every Jellicle in the junkyard was watching, fascinated) started laughing and didn't stop till noon. Might I add this occurred at seven in the morning.

**January 5**  
I suppose mentioning one of my darker secrets is inevitable, so I'll disclose it now. I don't know why I'm worrying that anyone except Tumble and Pounce know (they tickled it out of me; can I help it that I'm very ticklish?), because they'd only find out if they read this journal, but still...I'm as paranoid about a Jellicle finding this journal as Demeter is about Macavity. Of course, I won't _know_ if someone tries to snoop around, because I don't have a Macavity sense like Demeter, but I've just decided I should guard this book with a spell. It was so stupid I didn't realize this before, but anyway, deep and dark secret:

_I have a crush on Victoria._ I've loved her forever, but even though I possess magical powers, I still can't ask her to the Jellicle Ball. Since we're both still kittens, we don't actually ever go with anybody; it's mostly just hanging around with your friends. I'm such a loser.

**January 7**  
Sweet Bast! I think Pounce and Tumble found out about this journal! I have to stay away from this little book for fear of my worst suspicions being confirmed.

**January 13**  
Whew! I was so excited about what happened, I nearly forgot how to write and tried to scribble this down with the pen upside down. But anyway, it was worth isolating myself from this book for six days to discover why Pouncival and Tumblebrutus were following me.

I thought they found out about my journal, but it turns out they wanted to play a prank on the Jennyanydots and wanted me to create a mass army of mutant tuna fish. I told them they'd be better off trying to get Munkustrap to kiss Bombalurina. So they went off to sulk.

**January 15**  
They've decided against creating a mass army of mutant ants, beetles, whales, gadflies, and pugs (it _only_ took them two days), and have asked me to just please create a magical firecracker that will whizz the Rum Tum Tugger's fake mane off in front of all the queens. "How do you know it's fake?" I said, curious as all Jellicles are.

Pouncival grinned. "I was spying on him. Think of Bomba's face when she sees!"

"Please, Misto?" Tumblebrutus begged, on bended knee. "Please? It would only be the greatest prank of all time, even better than Electra's idea of growing a mass army of mutant sunflowers!"

"And that's not stupid at all," I remarked sardonically. "I'll consider it. Goodbye." I crawled into my little drainpipe, already formulating an idea. I love pranks too.

**January 17**  
Sweet Bast, it was _hilarious_!!! Pounce slipped the firecracker into Tugger's mane this morning and later that afternoon, it flew off with the mane spectacularly in front of all the adoring queens! I couldn't stand still for laughter. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, the masters of pranks, fell over laughing, and didn't stop for several minutes (more like an hour or two). They cried tears of mirth, abundantly praising Pouncival and Tumblebrutus, who were standing there smugly. Even Tugger laughed.

**January 20**  
The other six kittens and I (Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, Electra, Etcetera, Jemima, and Victoria) were playing Truth or Dare. It was so much fun. We had to admit secrets and do wild things. My favorite part was when I dared Pouncival to kiss the queen he loves. He turned as red as a beet and then pounced on Jemima, who was surprised but delighted (Electra spilled that she'd liked Pouncie forever). Jemima hid behind Victoria for the rest of the time, blushing furiously.

**January 25**  
Sorry I haven't written in this journal for a while, but I've been closely watched by Munkustrap for no apparent reason at all. He's always so eager to prove to his ancient father, Old Deuteronomy, that he's ready to become the leader of the Jellicle tribe when he goes to the Heaviside Layer. Cettie had one of her incredibly brilliant moments, and resourcefully created a distraction that turned Munk's attention to his darling mate Demeter, and they went away to nap. So we were free to do what we liked for a while.

**January 28**  
We discovered why we were being watched so carefully. There's been a gang of Pollicles spotted near us! Now we know why the toms have all gone except Munkustrap. Demeter told us Munk wanted to get at the Pollicles badly, but Old Deuteronomy decided that he should stay. Most of the other toms would be irresponsible and go off to their mates or something, but Munk wouldn't. Munkustrap flushed when he heard this. Cettie beamed. But, we also found out the Pollicles have come in with a few reinforcements, so now we're being watched again. That's all for now, because here comes Munkustrap!


	2. February

Disclaimer: I do not own the _CATS_ Video or any of its characters. However, I _do_ own this story in its non-profit entirety. Similarities to other works are merely coincidental.

**Black Magic  
A Year In The Life of Mistoffelees, Conjuring Extraordinaire  
Written By Stanza**

2. February

**February 4**  
I've been away from this addictive little book for a while again - a week actually. I have a valid excuse, and it's not the sordid one I had before (not that _that_ one wasn't valid), of some cat discovering said journal. No, it's because the threat of the gang of Pollicles is worse. They were audacious enough to conduct a nightly raid into the midst of an entire tribe of Jellicles. Well, not _entire_. The toms were away, and only the queens and kittens remained. Still, they caused one heck of a disturbance.

Three of the five Pollicles sneaked into the tribe, probably hoping to kill Old Deuteronomy or the toms. Now, if that isn't stupid, I don't know what is. Every Jellicle in the tribe loves Old Deuteronomy dearly, and if he came to harm, we'd hunt down every dog in London. But anyway, they crept up on us when we were sleeping, and unfortunately (for them) met up with Jennyanydots and Jellylorum, who had been enlisted to guard us kittens. They do not take the matter lightly, and tackled the Pollicles like American football players. Of course, the noise - of the Pollicles' cursing and grunting and wheezing - woke everyone up. Demeter grew so paranoid that Macavity was masquerading as one of the remaining Pollicles, she clawed the last two. Bombalurina eventually calmed her down, but she's still pretty jumpy. Let's just say it was an eventful night.

**February 6**  
With the Pollicles vanquished, the toms returned, pretty shocked the queens handled the situation. Anyway, I almost wish they hadn't - everybody's making Valentine's Day plans. With a few cleverly placed spies, we the kittens have discovered that the adult cats are throwing a big party - that means everybody but us have been invited. However...that means we have no babysitter, which is a good thing! A _VERY_ good thing.

**February 9**  
I want to scream. Even the quittens, the female kittens, are making plans! I think they want to ambush us males or something. Shudder Scary thought. Unless, of course, it's Victoria....

**February 11**  
"Scream It's only three days away!" Etcetera is really starting to get on my nerves. I have no idea why Tumblebrutus has a crush on her. Oh yeah, that's right. He loves Cettie. What would Tugger say about _that_?

I just discovered: Pouncival is going to take Jemima out somewhere. Tumblebrutus had told him it's only proper now that they know their "love is requited". He had to threaten him with being forcefed soap to get him to do it. Tumble says he's very proud of "ickle Pounciekins".

**February 14**  
It's here. Valentine's Day is here. I was right - the quittens tried to ambush us! We ended up playing kiss-tag by the light of the full moon. How romantic. _Not_. Nobody caught me (THANK BAST!); only Pounce got kissed. Guess who. Jemima. He shinnied up a tree, where Jemima was waiting for him. We heard a surprised yell, a silent pause, Jemima giggling, and a thud - apparently Pounciekins fell out of the tree. We had a good laugh over that one.

Once again, I was too cowardly to kiss Victoria or anything.

**February 18**  
It's four days after Valentine's Day and love is still in the air! I'm going insane! Tugger and Bomba are snogging under the car, Munkustrap's napping with Demeter, Alonzo is out somewhere with Cassandra (don't ask), Skimbleshanks is grilling mouse for Jennyanydots (I seriously regret making him a grill; he may be a good cook but he's not the best firefighter), Asparagus is...doing something with Jellylorum, and Coricopat is slinking around with Tantomile. Jemima and Pouncival are holding hands. Ew. Enough with love!

**February 20**  
Love is dying down. Finally. But, unfortunately, that means the kittens have to go back to recruiting beetles for Jennyanydots. Sweet Bast, I loathe beetles! They're so fast and hard to catch. And cheeky, too! I zapped one with a blue lightning bolt and it swore at me! So I gave it to Jennyanydots as a present; she'll get it to behave if anyone can.

**February 25**  
It's raining. Everybody's in hiding from the rain. I wish I had a towel.

**February 28**  
February is just about over. Stupid rain. I wrote in it yesterday and left it out. It washed away the ink. Now that the pages are dry - I didn't lose anything else, thankfully - I have nothing to say.

* * *

Thanks to the 3 people that reviewed - and reviewed kindly!

**Chimalmaht** - I'm trying to elaborate more. Thank you for your suggestion.

**lozzypop** - Why, thank you.

**AJsHellCat** - You're so nice. I appreciate this. It's my first CATS fic.


	3. March

Disclaimer: I do not own the _CATS_ Video or any of its characters. However, I _do_ own this story in its non-profit entirety. Similarities to other works are merely coincidental.

**Black Magic  
A Year In The Life of Mistoffelees, Conjuring Extraordinaire  
Written By Stanza**

3. March

**March 2**  
March is here, bringing lots of rain. Most Jellicles hate this month. Now I realize why. I'm not a big fan of having a bath either, even if it _is_ free. My den, the drainpipe, seems unusually cozy at this time, especially since I lined it with blankets.

**March 3**  
I only left the drainpipe to hunt for breakfast and lunch. Those two annoying but lovable brothers, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, stopped by this afternoon. The first thing they did was shake the water on their fur off onto me. Charming. Then they made up for it by producing mice they'd caught for us to share as dinner. For some reason, my den seemed so much more roomy, even with three toms inside it. I slowly roasted the mice with a magical fire, and then we ate them and talked about everything in general. Tumblebrutus is most definitely in love - he was gushing about Etcetera. Curse these stupid hormones.

**March 5**  
It stopped raining! Hooray! The Jellicles all joined in a celebratory dance, singing and laughing. I suspect Tugger was on catnip or something like that, because he became tipsy (but not much more tipsy than usual, hehe) and told silly stories about queens to Tumble, Pounciekins, and I. Ex-queenfriends, I suppose.

**March 8**  
THE RAIN IS AT IT AGAIN!!! I can't stand it.

**March 9**  
Thunderstorm in the junkyard! Skimbleshanks sniffed it out, and we all huddled in our dens. Demeter was particularly frightened, because I guess the lightning reminded her of Macavity. Even on the other side of the junkyard, I could hear her scared sobs and Munkustrap's reassurances.

**March 12**  
After a quick succession of thunderstorms, the worst is over, I believe. I'm sorry if I haven't written in this book for a while, but I was afraid the rain would wash away the ink again. I really have to find a pencil.

Jennyanydots and Jellylorum declared that today was a Hunt Day. Hunt Days are when we have to pay a visit to the Dump to search for discarded knicknacks the tribe can put to some use. The junkyard we currently inhabit is deserted and has been unused for years, but the Dump is only a few minutes away and currently in use by the humans of London. It's astounding what the Dump has been known to turn up. For instance, Skimbleshanks once found a grill, which I fixed up for him with a few simple spells and he uses sometimes. Today, Electra discovered (with much triumphant yelling) an old children's picture book. I, who have learned to read, told them truthfully it was a story called 'Cinderella', a famous folk tale. So now she's trumpeting her "superior findings" around the junkyard. I wish I had earplugs.

**March 15**  
I once read in a book that today is called the March of Ides because it's the middle of March and the day a man called Julius Caesar died. He was a bigshot, I found out, who thought himself descended from the gods and announced he was the supreme ruler of a place called Rome. Weird names, huh? I told this to the other kittens, and they looked at me like I was insane. Then Etcetera looked suspicious. Uh-oh! I think she's found out that I can read and write and will probably investigate the situation. I have to stop writing in this for a while!

**March 20**  
Phew! False alarm again. Cettie just thought I was hiding books. I'm only hiding one - this book - but she thought I had a whole library or something crazy like that! She actually had to look through my drainpipe. Luckily, I'd hidden this journal wisely away from my den; a place, I've already said, I shall not disclose. Thank Bast. I don't know what I would do if anyone found out! Especially Etcetera - she'd blab it to everybody in the junkyard, and that includes Victoria! What would I do _then_?!

Even though I've put a charm on this book so no one can open it except me, I'm still paranoid.

**March 21**  
The tails of the other kittens and I were nearly bored off of our behinds when Skimbleshanks saw fit to tell us one of his looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong stories that always end with us snoring. Even with my magical powers I can't resist the sleep-inducing tones of his voice! This time he was saying something about his great-aunt's cousin's mate's third cousin's human's friend's Jellicle who...and I lost myself there.

**March 25**  
Oh happy day. Literally. Skimbleshanks told no stories, Jennyanydots wanted no beetles, and the sky poured no rain! It was sunny and warm - and _dry_! Everyone danced around in celebration again. Even the mice we caught for meals tasted better than usual.

**March 27**  
"Jellicle cats, come out today  
Jellicle cats, enjoy the sun  
The sky's warm as the month of May  
Delight in it till the day is done"

I felt like inventing some poetry today. I don't know why. Perhaps it is because today is just like the one described in my little poem, which can be sung to the tune of The Invitation To The Jellicle Ball, which I sang last year with Victoria. Sigh...that was very nice. Especially when she smiled at me.

**March 30**  
Since it was so pleasant and sunny and warm, the kittens went on a little adventure to the Pond, which is located a few yards away from the Dump. We've watched the older Jellicles fish in it expertly, and it never looked hard, so we tried it. It is most definitely more difficult than it seems! We all fell in the water at least once, but eventually everyone caught a fish. Pouncival fell in ten times - I counted - and caught a mere minnow. Jemima, the shy one, caught a _trout_! She was the envy of all the quittens, and they shared it for supper. We toms had...nothing, seeing as we put our fish back in the water, so we had to hunt. We ended up with several mice, though, and gave three of them to Skimbleshanks to grill for the senior "cat"izens, which includes him, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Asparagus, Gus, and Old Deuteronomy.

I swear, the big den the quittens share (HOW CAN QUITTENS LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE?! Pouncie and Tumble are _brothers_ and they don't share a den!) positively _reeks_ of fish.

* * *

Sorry if this chapter is a little dull. Thanks to the 4 people that reviewed this story so nicely!

**Mystitat** - No, I did not invent the term "quittens". It's pretty much known by almost everybody, and means "kittens on the verge of becoming queens". I'm sorry he didn't end up kissing Victoria either, but that will be later in the story, hint-hint. I'm sure Jemima is pleased also. .

**Nabooru** - Aw, thanks.

**Jemima-luvah** - That's so sweet of you. Yes, it would be rather funny if Vicki found Misto's diary. Thanks for the good idea! Perhaps I'll use it....

**Chimalmaht** - March is up! Wow, thanks for reviewing me twice! I really appreciate it. And thanks also for your compliment on how I did Valentine's Day. Eventually, Misto will get over his cowardliness, and yes, he will hold hands (or paws, your choice) with her.


	4. April

Disclaimer: I do not own the _CATS_ Video or any of its characters. However, I _do_ own this story in its non-profit entirety. Similarities to other works are merely coincidental.

**Black Magic  
A Year In The Life of Mistoffelees, Conjuring Extraordinaire  
Written By Stanza**

4. April

**April 1**  
APRIL FOOLS! Today was the big day for practical jokes, and Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, Mungojerrie, and Rumpleteazer were in their element! The first prank went to Mungojerrie. He loaded Skimbleshanks's morning drink of tea with gin he'd swiped from some careless humans. Poor Skimble was hobbling around all day, woozy and saying things that made his mate Jennyanydots's fur stand on end!

Then Tumblebrutus had a go at it. He switched Jellylorum's embroidery thread with human flossing string! It took Jelly a few hours to pick out the floss and she spent the whole while grousing and cursing Tumble. I never knew a queen so proper could have such apalling words in her vocabulary.

Next, Pounce slyly - and with faster paws than I thought a kitten could have- slipped off Munkustrap's collar. Munkustrap had been attempting to impress Demeter at the time, so he was very mad. If he'd wanted to show off for his mate, he got his wish, but in a bad way (!). Pouncival led him around on a merry chase about the junkyard, wagging his tail like a Peke and sticking his tongue out teasingly, at which Munkustrap would yell, "Why, you little (insert uncouth name here)!" If the senior "cat"izens didn't faint from Skimbleshanks's gin-induced breath, they did from Munk's creative language.

Last but certainly not least, Rumpleteazer took her turn. She switched Bustopher Jones's (my dear pudgy uncle was visiting at the time) suppertime fish with a fake one she'd made herself. It was cloth, with faux scales drawn on with a crayon, and stuffed with fish skeletons. Of course, most Jellicles wouldn't fall for something so apparent, but Uncle's eyesight isn't all that keen, so he did. He bit into it and I'll never forget the look on his face. Rumpleteazer got a stitch in her side, she laughed so hard. Mungojerrie literally snorted with laughter (personally, I think it sounded kinda hoggish).

Victoria and her quitten friends didn't stop laughing all day. She looks so pretty when she laughs.

Thus, I may conclude that today was very exciting.

**April 3**  
The thrills of April Fools is dying down. Pouncival and Jemima were suspiciously reported missing today, and mysteriously appeared just before bedtime, blushing and very happy. They didn't say anything, though. I intend to find out from Pouncival what happened. Tumblebrutus feels the same way. Pounciekins can't hide any secrets from us - we'll tickle them out of him if he won't talk. He usually does.

**April 4**  
We have discovered what occurred yesterday! Breaking news!

Pounce was very reluctant to say anything. So reluctant, in fact, we had to tickle him for several minutes before we learned anything. Several minutes meaning our hands began to get sore from tickling. But we found out, anyway. The two little lovebirds sneaked off to the river to fish (Jemi and Pounce don't exactly mind raw fish, which is what they ate. But I can't stand it in the least) and watch the clouds go pass. Clouds go pass. Jemima's idea, or so I heard. He didn't quite object, because it was a little nippy yesterday and they were snuggling together to keep warm.

"Did she kiss you?" Tumblebrutus asked keenly. We had to tickle the answer out of him for that too. Pounciekins is Tumble's brother, and he wouldn't say! Until we tickled him. Then he was very eager to tell. The answer was yes. Pouncival said he nearly fainted when she did. I assume Jemima told the same thing to the quittens, but who knows.

**April 6**  
Jennyanydots sent the other kittens and out to the fields to recruit dormice and rats for her to train and discipline. She's made it her life's aspiration to "domesticate" every rodent in London. Even Jellylorum is skeptical. The rodents are even worse than beetles, if that's possible. They can cuss curses that would make sailors blush.

**April 9**  
The cattle call is over. We're free! The kittens, I mean. The adult Jellicles are getting busy for the upcoming Jellicle Ball. I have no idea why, though. It's still, what - two months away or so. They're already scrounging around for broken twinkle lights and things like that. I bet tomorrow or the day after or some day in the near future will be a Hunt Day.

**April 13**  
_I was right!_ Today was declared a Hunt Day, and we the lowly kittens were sent off to search for decorations for the Ball. I don't understand it! The Jellicle Ball is on the night humans call Midsummer Night's Eve, which is considered the most magical night in the year. Well...it's not usually on Midsummer Night's Eve, but always around that time, so long as the moon is full. This year, it _is_ a full moon on Midsummer Night's Eve, so the Jellicle Ball should be even more magical than normal.

I found a five-foot long string of twinkle lights. None were broken, but the string wouldn't light, so I had to charge it with some magic. It works now, and and blinks not only white, as it was originally supposed to, but each bulb flashes a different color each time! Demeter and her older sister Bombalurina are very pleased. As are all the rest of the queens. The toms mostly don't care so long as a queen spends the night with them at the Ball, but the queens are so picky, picky, picky! They are always so particular. 'Drape these rags over there, darling.' 'A few more inches to the right, please.' It's enough to make Poms _heave_.

Jemima discovered a very big ball of yarn, which, as I pointed out, is quite unconnected to the Ball. Jennyanydots and her sister Jellylorum didn't care, though. They were positively delighted. It was that strange multi-colorful yarn, and I swear, they hugged her so tightly upon her triumphant arrival with the yarn in her mouth, her eyes now stick out a centimeter longer than they used to.

**April 15**  
Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very rainy and windy. A storm raged the entire afternoon. It was so wet today, in fact, that everyone had to move to higher ground for the night. We had a veritable _pond_ in the center of the junkyard. I fear for my drainpipe; I think it's completely soaked. 

**April 17**  
I thought we'd seen the end of the rainy season in March, but I was wrong. Dreadfully wrong. However, I was very fortunate and lucky to find that the storm's wind threw up a blockage - a big tire about half the size of the one that rises to the Heaviside Layer staircase, and that's big - that covered up my den and kept it dry and clean. Thank the Everlasting Cat! Sweet Bast, thank every known and unknown divine cats!

**April 18**  
Ah, the sun came out today. It was nice and warm. The entire tribe discovered Pouncival and Jemima snuggled up together during the storm, I forgot to mention. So now all the Jellicles know it, and not just the kittens. All I heard for an hour was: "Aw, how cute."

**April 20**  
_NOT AGAIN!_ I believed my little journal was secret, but it seems that now _Victoria_ is on to me! Aahh! What am I going to do if she sees it? This is an emergency - I _must_ stay away from this obsessive diary! Wait - did I say diary? I mean journal! It _is_ addictive!

* * *

Sorry for leaving you on a cliff-hanger. -) Wow, thanks for reviewing, everybody! I'm so pleased and astonished to find that every review but one has been signed! When I went to see the reviews, I saw _6_ of them! And all positive feedback. Also, I would really appreciate it if you could give me ideas for this story in reviews. Jemima-luvah, you're a big help.,

**Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith** - Thanks! Yes, he is cute, isn't he.

**Mystitat** - Yes, "quittens" is pretty widely known. It's in more than a couple fics here at - Thank you so much for reviewing me so many times! I appreciate it a lot. And it gladdens me to know that you think I write well and want me to continue.

**Anonymous** - Uh...not quite sure what this means.

**Jemima-luvah** - I don't think there's a name for toms who are kittens, but "quittens" definitely exists. It makes me feel so happy inside to know that you really, really like what I'm doing. This is my first CATS fanfic, and I wasn't quite certain how my Misto-diary idea would work out...but you make me feel like it _is_ working, and I _will_ proceed!


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